No announcement yet.

Humour in Words.

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Humour in Words.

    I copy below a message forwarded to me recently,

    Tongue in Cheek!

    1. What is the difference between Einstein and Karunanidhi?

    Einstein said that everything is relative whereas Karunanidhi says that relative is everything

    2. Why is Bangla Desh not sending a contingent to Olympics?

    Because anyone who can run,jump or swim, has already crossed the border of the country

    3. Why did UPA Government demonetise 25 paise coins?

    They could not manage one Anna, how could they manage four annas?

    4. 100 phones tapped each day per operator. Finally we have a government that listens to us.

    5. Vote for Baba Ramdev. He’ll be the PM who can help you make your ends meet. Your head and toe, that is.

    6. Mayawati, Jayalalitha & Mamata should now form an alliance. They can call it Behenji-Amma-Didi. Or BAD,
    for short.

    7. Some days, Digvijay Singh makes no sense. Other days, he is silent.

    8. I really don’t understand why people consider alcohol to be a problem.
    Chemically speaking, it’s a solution.

    9. A documentary on Air India’s planes – Saare Zameen Par.

  • #2
    Re: Humour in Words. - Stress buster

    Here is a Stress buster.

    Please Enjoy,



    After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

    'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

    'Well,to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a Cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
    'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

    'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.

    Reluctantly,the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport,the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms per hour ...(Remember, the Pope is German…)

    'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

    'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

    The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.

    The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. 'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

    'So bust him,' says the Chief.

    'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

    The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

    No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.

    The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'

    Cop: 'Bigger.'

    Chief: 'A senator?'

    Cop: 'Bigger.'

    Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'

    Cop: 'Bigger.'

    'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'

    Cop: 'I think it's God!'

    The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

    Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope.



    • #3
      Re: Humour in Words. -Funny Two liners

      Funny Two Liners

      Let me give few two liners
      *After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

      *Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

      *It is true that Love is blind, but marriage in definitely an eye opener.



      • #4
        Re: Humour in Words.- Stress Buster !!!

        Here is a Weekend Stress Buster

        Perfect Husband !!!

        Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

        MAN: "Hello"
        WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
        MAN: "Yes"
        WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's
        only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
        MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

        WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007
        models. I saw one I really liked."
        MAN: "How much?"
        WOMAN: "$80,000."
        MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

        WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
        MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
        WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
        MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

        The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose Cell phone this is???!!!"