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ran_jan64
18-08-2012, 10:17 AM
Swamin,

when a father is alive and mother passes away, the sons are not performing the Amavasai Tharpanams. Will not the soul feel hungry? for not worshiped monthly?
Pl explain.
Adiyen,
Rangarajan.C

bmbcAdmin
18-08-2012, 05:26 PM
Swamin,

when a father is alive and mother passes away, the sons are not performing the Amavasai Tharpanams. Will not the soul feel hungry? for not worshiped monthly?
Pl explain.
Adiyen,
Rangarajan.C

Sri:
Kindly read the matters in the below threads.

http://www.brahminsnet.com/forums/showthread.php/117-Explanation-of-karmas-after-death
http://www.brahminsnet.com/forums/showthread.php/59-Aparam-Death-ceremony-discussions

You may search and find some other postings also related to this.

Noe the direct answer for your question is:
Tharpanam, shradhams are not done to remove hungry of the souls.
It is given as a duty to the kartha to clear his debts and as well as not accumulating his sins, dhoshas.
What are the debts?
To produce a live child, a father is producing several millions of sperms by spending all his energy.
(Actually it is a painful and loss of energy and life span, but God made it pleasureful)
To grow and protect the child in her womb mother spending lot of his energy and many sacrifices.
So, a man can not clear his debts by doing all these things, but Rushis made it simple with mercy on mankind.

Then, Tharpanam is not actually to be done as how we are doing with water.
It should also be done as what we are doing shradham with homam.
Again, when doing shradham (as per Apastamba rushi) there is no homam for females.

So, when we are doing the Tarpanam in place of homam, it should be started only after the death of father.

All other explanations are given in other postings.
Please read all the old posts under Aparam and Shradham etc.
Now I am in a hurry to go some where, so I have not readout the content after typing.
Please continue to post if you find any mistake or not sensible or not convincing enough.
nvs

ran_jan64
19-08-2012, 04:15 PM
Swamin,
Thanks for your quick reply. My doubt or question is however is different.
That is ,when father is alive but mother attained Acharyan Thiruvadigal, the son is not performing the Amavasys Tharpanam for his mother but performing yearly Thiruvadyanam. Is he not accumulating the debt for his mother till his father'slifetime?.
Adiyen
Rangarajan.C

bmbcAdmin
19-08-2012, 05:57 PM
Sri:
Below given my reasons are not in shastras.
Actually we have no rights to ask shastras why?
There may be some fine reasons behind everything which we may not know.

My guess for your answer is:
Whenever you do a shradham or any homam,
we call one as "udhEshyam" (pp - for whom it is done)
in tarpanams always the "udhEshyam" (pp) should be father.

If it is confusing I try to say it in simple terms:
Pitrus are of three types
1. vasu - vasu pathni
2. rudra - rudra pathni
3. Aditya - Aditya pathni
One thing should be noted here,
vasu pathni is no need to be the wife of vasu
for example, when one person who is having mother alive doing tarpanam to his father
then, vasu roopa pitru is his father and vasu pathni is his (kartha's) father's mother,
and if his father's mother is alive then the vasu pathni is father's father's mother.

The condition to do or start the tarpanam is the vasu should be the kartha's father.

As per Sama veda - the tarpanam for father's mother (demised) also not taken as vasu pathni
while the kartha's mother is alive.
I am researching this also, and not yet found a convincing answer.

ran_jan64
21-08-2012, 08:08 PM
Thank you Swmin. If further details are possible, pl post the same .
Danyosmi,
Rangarajan

yadhunath
15-09-2012, 02:30 PM
Appreciate Mr.Rangarajan's question. I had the same question as well.

Honestly, I think this practice of doing Tarpanam after father's passing away (as opposed to Mother's passing away) has less to do with Sastra but more to do with practice handed down through the ages. Once both parents are gone, Tarpanam offering of Ellu + water is done for both parents, but the obligation to perform tarpanam starts only after Father's passing away, which is the subject question. I think all these practices have changed and even got blurred over ages. The practices remained but intent and in-depth knowledge remained only with few. More specifically, some changes must have come through in last few hundred years. It is possible that at some point in history, they just wanted to preserve the practice and said, okay do this and do that. Gradually, as man became responsible for protecting the household and became sole decision maker over the generations, he started dominating the society and arranged the practices and customs. To a large extent, the practices have come to suit male dominance.

Viewed in the same vein, is there a reason why women are not initiated into Gayatri at a young age unlike men? Sexuality exists only at a physical level (Annamaya Kosha). Where is sexuality when you look at a human being as a spiritual being? When we verily acknowledge the fact that man is not just tissues and muscle mass, but there is a permanent indestructible being (call it atman or by any name, name should not matter) the aspects of man and woman is merely a duality of creation that ceases to exist in inner world. Upanayanam and Gayatri were meant for spiritual progress and inner development, which are not the reserve of man alone. If Gayatri is meant for spiritual progress, it should be available as a means to cross this cycle of birth and death regardless of being a man or a woman. Ironically, Gayatri is personified as a goddess and we meticulously keep women out of it! (There will be fewer splits and less degeneration of family values, if only we embraced women in all walks of life). Back to the question on Tarpanam, I think the practice of starting Tarpanam rituals after Father's passing away is more of a practice inherited over time and this practice should be reconsidered in my humble consideration.